Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind.
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hong kong / macau / singapore here i come Monday, December 21, 2009 in 12 hours or so, i'll be on a torturous flight to hong kong. not exactly looking forward to being cramped in a tiny little space but it all beats not coming back at all so im contented. so this morning, my uncle called at an unearthly 7am and asked if i wanted to try to get on the flight today. he previously told me or rather just yesterday that the seats were all filled with people who actually bought tickets. i hadnt packed yet since i was sure i wasnt going to fly today so there wasnt any point. so i just told him i wasnt going to bother with trying. plus he did say not to get my hopes up anyway. and then mom called at 8 and told me to check my email (do people not know me enough that i dont like being disturbed in the morning??? it was great enough i actually picked up my phone) turned out she bought tickets for me since cathay pacific just happened to have a seat open and it was about a thousand bucks cheaper than united. yay! now i can stop stressing out and worrying about whether i can get back on time or whether its even worth just spending a lil more then 2 weeks on vacation and on top of that, all the stress. like ive said, torture. anyhow, i definitely felt happier. started packing and watched more videos. played some crazy wii in the afternoon with janet. super mario was hilarious. we just couldnt stay alive and get past the last stage of the first world. thats how bad we are. still, lots of laughing as usual. fun stuff. anyways, i'll be going to macau for christmas and going back to singapore on the 26, arriving at midnight. apparently, i'll be the first to reach. mom's leaving on the 27 and bro and dad are leaving a different timing on the 27. great. got to stay alone in a somewhat foreign house. thats gonna be fun. i know i m gonna be freaked out. at least i have my dog to accompany me that is if he still recognizes me. gonna be back to sf on jan 16. so i have a good 2 and a half weeks in singapore. start booking me if you still read this. lol. otherwise my time will be devoted to dog and parents >.<> official end of the semester Saturday, December 19, 2009 finally done with finals and thus the semester! have been waiting for this day since forever. this semester has been one hell of a ride. more on that next time but for now, its time to celebrate! and of course, await the atrocious grades to appear on bearfacts. i really should be happy and excited and ecstatic right now since i've been waiting for this day, but frankly speaking, im not. in fact, im in a pretty foul mood and just ready to go to bed. why is it that when theres so much to study, there's just so many distractions but when you've finally cleared all the necessary work, theres just nothing to do anymore or rather dont feel like doing anything? someone enlighten me please. and i have to say my appetite is dying off again so thats adding to the misery i suppose. theres always a period of time when i binge on food, snacking every hour or so and having a thousand different cravings a day and once that period dies off, i stop eating completely since i dont feel like eating. aside from that though, i found french macaroons today at the most unlikely spot.... starbucks! they arent fresh though since they're packaged in the box and placed in the "refrigerated section". still, i got them and of course they're not the best. somehow it still satisfied my craving for them. they're tiny and it comes in a box of 12. 2 of each flavor-chocolate, coffee, lemon, raspberry, vanilla and pistachio. but the major reason i suppose aside from the lost of appetite is that i'm not even sure if im going back anymore. this on and off flight issue or whether im going back or not is just killing me. dont give me false hopes and disappoint me time and time again. its just pure torture. so this morning, my uncle showed me the standby list and there was 24 people on the list with 17 open seats and im number 23. so theres a super high possibility that i wont be able to get on. so i could just go back to the airport and try monday and tuesday and so on. im not worried about going to hk. sure i could spend a few days less. but the problem is with coming back. i was planning to come back on the 15th but now the situation isnt good and thats the same with the whole week. he was saying that i had to try the 10th, 11th, 12th and so on. and even then, i might not get on. school starts on the 19th so i definitely have to get back by then. but what seriously bothers me now is the last sentence he said: think about if u really want to go back now. somehow i feel that he just doesnt want me to go back. he's been hinting that since way back. yes, i know i should be learning to drive, and getting my credit card (why isnt atm enough??!) and finding a job but stop bugging me about them. i get that finding a job thign since it might help with my local residency issue but really, who's gonna hire at this last minute? in any case, im just pissed and annoyed. plus, i dont want my parents spending 3000 bucks on my ticket alone. thats in USD too. it could pay one month of my school fees and if i were to go and come back on the 10th, it would be a huge waste. and of course bro gets to go tomorrow with a proper ticket even though he went back during the summer. i'm over the top annoyed with him right now. he whines constantly about the aunt he lives with saying she's mean and all, but hello, you lost her trust and pissed her off first. and its not anyone's fault youre so picky with food. so of course, parents pity him and he gets to spend breaks back in sunny singapore being spoiled all over again. urgh alright im fuming right now so i'm just gonna stop. other stuff that i wanted to blog about but maybe tomorrow. jesse mccartney's just so you know is on repeat or has been on repeat for the past 2 hours just cos its so true. somewhat. 3 more days Wednesday, December 16, 2009 to freedom! last history final on friday afternoon and after that, i can officially conclude this crazy semester to be over :D but, first i have to get through this 2 days or so of studying. which is pure torture. i dont know why i chose history to take to fulfill my requirement since i have no interest in it whatsoever and now im completely screwed for the final since i have no idea whats its going to be on. i know we have impromptu essays to write which i suck at so im completely freaking out. usually we get the prompt before hand and i write it at home then memorize it so im fine but not this time :( i have no idea what some lectures are about either especially those regarding politics. sigh. i just want it to be over now. as for the other finals, i guess they were alright. studied for mcb pretty hard but the final came out on stuff i didnt exactly focus on as always. hopefully i ll still manage to get a b out of that class. endocrinology was so so. there were so many pages (13!) my hand was dying at the end and you could totally tell my handwriting changed. have fun reading it pals. hahaha. im just hoping for a b too. my grades are horrid, a big difference from when i was at skyline where i didnt have to worry at all. aside from all the scholarly stuff, i'm super psyched up for winter break. finally get to go back to hong kong and singapore and stuff my mouth full with local delights. will probably be leaving on the 20th that is if there are seats available. i'll be flying standby using my uncle's tickets so it all depends if the flights are fully booked or not. but as long as it saves me more money to spend on food, im alright with it. spending a week in hk/macau first then will probably head off to our new home in singapore. i was looking for familarity but i guess thats not happening. oh wells. change is the only thing thats constant right. alright im getting lazy to type now. hopefully i ll get some studying done tonight.... if anyone reads this and wants something for xmas, send me a list so i can go shop on fri or sat. not much time left. which reminds me i still need to use my 20% for my cal sweatshirt. coldbuster Friday, December 04, 2009 i think the stress finally got to me and the flu bug probably thought it was the right time to attack. it hasnt shown its full potential yet so hopefully i kill it before it makes itself comfortable especially since finals is coming and i need to be able to study properly. now i hope the jamba juice coldbuster works (since it usually does for my cousin). my head still feels super heavy and i just want to sleep but ive got to sit through boring history and endocrinology's last lecture of the semester. but for now, i think im going to grab some porridge. oh comfort food.... it's december Wednesday, December 02, 2009 how is it that's its december already? i barely enjoyed my novemeber. but i suppose it's good news since i get to look forward to going back to singapore and hong kong soon. i miss everything back home so much i cant even put it in words. cant wait to see everyone again especially my dog. i miss him so so much. i raked up some of his baby photos last week and gosh, he was so adorable. cant believe its already been 8 years. has it really been that long? i know i sound so mean and biased everytime i talk about how i miss singapore and everything and it always ends up being my dog that i miss the most. but i cant help it. i talk to my parents almost every other day and then there's facebook and messenger to talk to friends but i cant communicate with my dog at all so i guess thats why. anyways, currently waiting for a social gathering for the Berkeley SACNAS chapter. hope i get to meet some new people and that it'd be fun so i wouldnt be wasting my time since technically, i should be working on my history paper thats due in two days. im having so much trouble writing it. probably the hardest paper that i have to write. its not about how well i write it anymore but what to write more specifically. i can usually BS something out and make it into a 5 page essay at least but not this time. i spent the whole of yesterday squeezing out just two pages. hopefully, i'll be able to find more sources and stuff about the film. i can now conclude that i do not like analyzing films. how is this relevant to history again? mayeb i should have paid more attention in lecture. anyone heard of the film touch of evil? thats the one im writing on so if you any information on it, tell me! first off, i do not like black and white films much less write on it. and second, i understand nothing about the film, ie. what theyre saying or whats it about. i'd rather stick to cartoons, harry potter, twilight or something in the 21st century. hopefully, something magical will appear in front of me by tomorrow otherwise im doomed. last night, i couldnt sleep and rolled around on the bed for an hour till 2am. why? because mom and dad are spending SGD8000 on tickets for me and bro to fly back and that is crazy expensive. why do airline companies have to raise ticket prices just because its the holiday season?! that 8000 could be used to pay for one month of my school fees so i was just thinking a lot into it. i just looked on united and its a thousand bucks cheaper on dec 21 compared to 19 so i might just tell mom to change it or the other choice would be to fly standby using my uncle's tickets. i doubt that would work though since the flights are pretty fully booked too so chances of flying on standby arent high either. good thing is, there's a higher chance of flying business class. although that really one of my concerns right now. i just want to get back. but, whatever the dates, i know i'll be flying back for sure so im still super excited. of course, i have to get over finals first. also, mom told me yesterday that she met my primary school friend's (jessica also) mom at ghim moh and apparently her mom recognizes my mom. wow. i barely remember who she is and i have long lost connections with jessica. funny how people can just come and go and its times like this where you realize how much you miss the old days and people. i remember in my primary one class, there were 4 jessica's including me so maybe thats why she remembers? anyways, mom got her number so maybe i could awkwardly call her up and reconect when im back. (i dont even have her on facebook adding more to the awkwardness) alright, its about time to go hike up the hill to a building ive never been too. hopefully i dont get lost especially since the sky is getting dark now. its only 5pm. blog more soon when im done with my papers... and studying... |
About a girl
when i put on a show.  nine-teen 100790 ilovepupsndogs @hotmail.com dogs! -i wish upon the star- more dogs=) hamsters cats a sack of gummy bears get into UC Berkeley travel around the world Bark
cause i cannot hear you. Cbox
Music & lyrics
find a way back into love. falling in love. jaime marlene huihui junhao kelly jervenne huiping crystal felicia diana
Layouts & credits
my thanks. Editor: shanggg!rong Basecodes: 1, 2, 3 Photobucket & DaFont
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